We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
