Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
