I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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