he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was confusing and full of hummus
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
