my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
