She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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