ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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