Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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