a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
