Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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