Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
