Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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