After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this boner is exhausting
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
