I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
