Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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