Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
