I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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