Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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