This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize