Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
