We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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