Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
