Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
