I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
