brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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