Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize