She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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