I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
