Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
