Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why didn't you poke me back
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
