And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
