I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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