You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have post one night stand depression
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
