did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize