3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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