Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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