the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
