omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
