just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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