i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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