Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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