At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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