so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
