seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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