Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
