I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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