Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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