Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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