wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
