Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
as a side note pls kill me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
