The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
