I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
