Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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