I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
