Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
