I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
