She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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