I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
