??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
