I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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